Two Wrongs Do Not Make A Right
Bully Behavior Curriculum Page 10
Author: Lynne Namka, Ed. D
Pay Backs are those thoughts of revenge about how we would like to hurt someone. Thinking about getting even keeps us angry. Thinking about how to hurt someone else keeps us caught in anger.
The mistaken belief here is feeling powerful in our thinking about revenge instead of taking the real power and doing something differently in life. Your angry thoughts do not hurt others but they do hurt you. Pay back thoughts and actions only fuel the fire of anger. Fantasy pay backs do not hurt the other person; they keep you upset. Pay Back actions generally get you in trouble and make the situation worse.
Your Ruff Tuff part might be caught up in revenge thoughts and Pay Back words:
- It’s not fair. I’ll make her sorry.
- How dare he do that to me?
- He did that on purpose to hurt me
- He can’t get away with that. I’ll get back at him.
- I’ll show them.
- He deserves to be punished. I’d like to punch him out.
People who have revenge thoughts have been hurt by someone. They feel the need to hurt others back. They are afraid to be open and show their hurt feelings inside. Getting-even thoughts help them hide their pain from themselves. People who have revenge thoughts can learn to talk to get the bad feelings out so they can feel better inside.
Ask yourself these questions when you think about hurting someone:
- What will getting even do for you?
- How does that help you? How does that get you what you want?
- How does thinking about hurting someone make you feel better about yourself?
- What is another way for you feel good about yourself instead of getting even?
Spend time on your self not on someone else. Think about taking care of yourself, not how you want to hurt someone else. You are worth it!
Revenge thoughts are a waste of your time. You don’t have to pay other people back. Pay backs won’t do it. People who hurt you will get their pay backs from the things that they bring on themselves. People get what they deserve. Revenge thoughts only keep you upset inside. All you need to do is take care of yourself. Success is the best pay back. The best revenge is a successful life.
- I let go of revenge thoughts.
- I am a big enough person that I don’t have to get even.
- I stop myself from thinking about pay backs.
- I’m not going to waste my time thinking about this anymore.
- I give up my Ruff Tuff Pay Back thoughts and words.
- I do things that make me feel happy inside.