Are You Secretly Angry

A Checklist of Hidden Animosity

Author: Lynne Namka, Ed. D.

Are you hiding your anger from yourself? Some people have beliefs that it is wrong to be angry. Yet anger is a human emotion and we all have in some form or another. Unexpressed anger can build up and take over your life, making you miserable in many different ways. You may have deep unresolved anger if you:

_____ Frequently vent injustice about your job or home situation to someone else.

_____ Have continual thoughts of revenge.

_____Smile and are bitter and cynical while you are hurting inside.

_____ Are excessively impatient and irritable.

_____ Become frustrated easily with others faults.

_____Express disbelief at others’ diving, resulting in road rage.

_____ Are sarcastic and use humor destructively.

_____ Pepper your talk frequently with cuss words.

_____ Grind your teeth or clench your jaws; have continual muscle tension in your face.

_____ Are bored, apathetic, and have lost interest in things you used to enjoy.

_____ Have to have the last work in a disagreement, keeping a fight going.

_____ Pick at and provoke others to anger.

_____ Are secretly or outwardly judgmental about the actions of others.

_____ Are unnecessarily critical of yourself.

_____ Displace your anger on safer people (who are less threatening) or on objects.

_____ Turn your anger on yourself and beat yourself up.

_____ Deny your feelings of frustration, irritation and impatience.

_____ Are over polite and cheerful, grinning and bearing it to hide feelings of injustice.

_____ Carry chronic muscle tension in neck and shoulders that worsens when you’re upset

_____ Agree to do something, then do not follow through. “Forget” to carry out your promises.

_____ Habitually clench your fists or tighten your muscles when you are upset.

_____ Want to be known as the “nice guy or gal” but inwardly are in turmoil about things.

_____ Are afraid to express your opinion because you might blow up.

_____ Are afraid to express your strong feelings because you believe it is wrong to be angry.

Anger is a normal human emotion. We’ve all got it. You can learn to express it directly in ways that do not hurt yourself or others.

Read a Primer of Anger on our web site and make a list of better ways to get your anger out. Take a course in anger management or get into therapy. You are worth the investment. Your life will become much happier if you learn to take care of your anger in socially acceptable ways. One sure fire way to boost your self esteem is to learn the social skills of expressing frustration and irritability in safe ways! Remember you are as mature as you are in touch with your feelings and express them in appropriate ways.